just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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