is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
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