She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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