I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Randomize
