you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Boobs speak an international language.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
