Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
