Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
