I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Randomize