Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
