I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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