I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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