i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
No subtext here. People are naked.
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I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
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I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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