Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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