he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
