Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
