Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize