you win again, gameday.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
In other news, I just burned my penis
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
