I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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