so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
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