oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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