i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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