Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
