Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
