just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
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