i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Randomize
