hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Randomize