remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
