The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
