Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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