fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
