I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
