The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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