I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
