It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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