Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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