I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
this beer tastes like vomit already
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
