Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
