Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
