I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
