Whats the glycemic index on semen?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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