Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Randomize
