Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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