But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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