So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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