He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
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