I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
It's official drugs can't kill me
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
They are going to name an STD after you.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
