omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
