i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
he was CRYING into my vagina
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
