The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize