they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
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