Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
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