Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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