He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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