i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
