2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
