For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
