you guys were way drunker than both of me
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life