After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
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The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
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I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.