problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
