I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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