everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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