nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
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Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
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Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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