so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Randomize
