I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
birth control should be required to get into college
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
