He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Randomize
